Supporting Emotional Growth in Children with Autism: How to Nurture Resilience

“She often slaps her head so hard anytime she is angry, and it’s scary,” a parent once said.

Every parent dreams of raising a child who feels confident, loved, and capable of handling life's challenges. For parents of children on the autism spectrum, this dream comes with unique joys and responsibilities. Emotional growth in autism doesn't follow the same timeline as it does in neurotypical children, and that’s okay. The key is understanding how your child experiences emotions and then supporting them in ways that build resilience, connection, and self-confidence.

Emotional growth is not just about "managing meltdowns" or "staying calm" always. It is about helping children understand their own feelings, express them in safe ways, and develop strategies to go through the ups and downs of daily life. This journey looks different for every child, but one thing is universal and it is that emotional skills can be taught, nurtured, and strengthened with time, patience, and support.

In this post, we'll talk about what emotional growth looks like in autism, why it matters, and some practical ways you as a parent, can support your child on this journey.

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL GROWTH IN CHILDREN?

Emotional growth is about more than just naming feelings like “happy” or “sad”. It’s the ability to understand emotions, regulate them, and respond to social situations with flexibility. Children with autism often face challenges in these areas because of differences in brain processing, sensory sensitivities, and communication styles.

Children with autism may have difficulties in recognising emotions, both in themselves and in others. These emotional regulation difficulties could lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even behavioural challenges and heightened sensitivity, whether to sounds, changes in routine, or social interactions. This sensitivity can make emotions feel overwhelming and harder to regulate.

For example, a loud birthday party may feel overwhelming to a child with autism. Instead of expressing “I’m anxious” or “this is too much”, the child might withdraw, cover their ears, or have a meltdown. This doesn’t mean they lack emotions—it means they experience and express them differently. Others might find it challenging to communicate their needs when they are upset, leading to behaviours that parents interpret as “tantrums”.

So instead of seeing these responses as misbehaviour, it’s better to reframe them as signals showcasing that a child is communicating, “This is too much for me right now.” That reframe is the first step in supporting emotional growth.

8 EVERYDAY WAYS PARENTS CAN NURTURE EMOTIONAL GROWTH

Emotional regulation is at the heart of so many areas of life. When children learn strategies to manage their feelings, they are better able to participate in learning, enjoy play, build friendships, and connect with family members. Remember, you won’t be present at all times to explain what they are going through. Here are eight everyday ways to improve emotional growth in your child:

1. Create Predictability with Routines

It is a known fact that children naturally thrive on structure! Hence, for a child with autism, predictability reduces anxiety and gives them a sense of security and safety. To help improve their emotional growth, a structured routine provides a solid base. Hence, when they know what to expect, they are more likely to manage unexpected changes calmly.

If a routine will be different, such as during school holidays, it’s better to prepare your child ahead of time in order to prevent emotional distress.

2. Teach Emotions Through Everyday Language

Feelings don't have to be taught only in therapy sessions. Every day moments are great opportunities to name and validate emotions. For instance, if your child is smiling while painting, you could say, "You look happy because you're enjoying the colours.” If they appear frustrated during handwriting practice, you might say, “I see you’re feeling frustrated because this is hard right now.”

By consistently labelling emotions, your child will learn to connect words with feelings. Over time, this helps him to recognise and express what they feels instead of acting it out through behaviours like crying, hitting his head, or other self-injurious ones.

3. Use Visual Supports

You can include simple tools like visual schedules or picture charts to help your child prepare for transitions. Also, visual aids like emotion cards or feelings charts can make abstract concepts more concrete. A child who struggles to say, “I’m sad,” may be able to point to a card with a sad face. This small tool will encourage your child to communicate emotions in ways that feel less overwhelming.

4. Practise Regulation Strategies Together

It helps when regulation strategies are modelled by parents too. Breathing exercises, squeezing a stress ball, listening to calming music, or retreating to a quiet corner are all strategies that can be practised daily.

Remember to introduce these tools during calm moments too, not just during meltdowns, so they become familiar and natural to use. For example, you could say, “Let’s practise taking three deep breaths together before we start eating.”

5. Encourage Creative Expression

Encourage creative outlets such as drawing, painting, or music as powerful tools for emotional expression. Many children who struggle with words find it easier to show their feelings through colours, rhythms, or movements.

At Nuture CDC, activities like painting sessions are often incorporated for this very reason. They provide safe, structured ways for children to process feelings while also building joy and confidence.

6. Model Calm Responses

Most of the time, children learn emotional regulation by observing adults. If you as a parent respond to stress with calm strategies, children are more likely to mirror that behaviour. This does not mean parents need to be perfect! It’s okay to say, “I’m feeling upset, so I’m going to take a deep breath.” That honesty models healthy coping when emotionally dysregulated.

7. Celebrate Small Growth Wins

Emotional growth is a gradual process. Even adults are still learning it. So, yes! Progress may look different from child to child. Celebrate every win, including the small ones, like your child pointing to an emotion card or calming herself after a stressful moment. This reinforces her effort and builds motivation to want to try more emotional regulation.

8. Ask for Help

Supporting emotional growth is not always straightforward. There may be some setbacks, like days when nothing seems to work, or times when a child’s emotions feel overwhelming. As a parent, you may find yourself struggling to stay afloat with your own stress, making it harder to stay calm during difficult moments. The first thing is to acknowledge these challenges and seek professional guidance, whether from psychologists, therapists, or support groups. These environments can provide fresh strategies/perspectives and encouragement that you most need. Click here if you would need further professional support. We are always ready to help.

CONCLUSION

Emotional growth is not just about “managing today’s meltdown”. It is about equipping children with lifelong skills, which is the bigger picture. Over time, children who can understand and regulate their emotions are better able to form friendships, advocate for themselves, and handle life’s inevitable challenges.

For children with autism, emotional growth is a journey of patience, consistency, and creativity. Parents play a central role, not by “fixing” emotions, but by creating safe spaces where children can explore, express, and regulate their feelings. Through routines, modelling, creative outlets, and small daily practices, children gradually develop resilience that carries them through challenges and helps them embrace their own strengths.

Remember, you are your child’s most important guide in this journey!

REFERENCES

Mazefsky, C. A., Herrington, J., Siegel, M., Scarpa, A., Maddox, B. B., Scahill, L., & White, S. W. (2013). The role of emotion regulation in autism spectrum disorder. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 52(7), 679–688. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2013.05.006

Uljarević, M., & Hamilton, A. (2013). Recognition of emotions in autism: A formal meta-analysis. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 43(7), 1517–1526. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-012-1695-5