"Will my child with autism ever be 'normal?"
This question is common among caregivers journeying through the uncertainties and concerns of raising a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). There's no simple answer; however, understanding autism's diversity, celebrating progress, and setting realistic expectations can offer a more hopeful perspective. Below, we address two unique angles to help answer this common question.
What's the Correct Answer to the Question?
Defining “Normal” and Why It Matters?
Rather, the question should be "what is normal"?
When parents ask about “normalcy,” they often seek reassurance about their child’s ability to live a “typical” life. However, the concept of “normal” is relative and fluid, shaped by cultural, social, and personal expectations. Hence, aiming for neurotypical normalcy for your child with autism can lead to frustration for both you and your child. Rather, with the right support at the right time and focusing on his strength, your child with autism can lead a fulfilling life.
While some children may develop verbal communication skills and engage in social relationships similar to their neurotypical peers, others may communicate through alternative means, such as assistive devices or sign language, to improve meaningful connections.
Autism As A Spectrum, Not a One-Size-Fits-All Condition
Another important thing to realize is that autism is a spectrum that comprises a wide range of behaviours, communication styles, and strengths, which vary from mild to more severe presentations. Your child with autism has a unique developmental trajectory that is influenced by the level of support they receive, family dynamics, and personal characteristics. They may communicate, socialize, and engage with the world in ways different from the neurotypical children, yet they can still thrive in their uniqueness.
Moving Forward: Setting Realistic Expectations and Focusing on Progress
Instead of aiming for “normalcy,” it’s more productive to focus on supporting your child’s functionality and well-being through interventions that meet their unique needs.
Research by Dawson et al. (2010) showed that children who receive therapeutic support at a young age have a higher likelihood of improving skills in areas like communication, socialization, and adaptive behaviour. Parents should work hand in hand with professionals in setting realistic and individualized goals for their child, to target functional goals, such as enhancing social communication, managing sensory sensitivities, or improving independence in daily activities.
Parents should also celebrate small victories—whether it’s making eye contact, forming a new word, or completing a daily task independently—they reinforce an environment where their child’s strengths can shine.
Conclusion
While every parent wishes for their child to grow and function well for themselves and society, it’s necessary to understand that the growth pathway doesn’t look the same for every child. However, with enough doses of love, a supportive environment, and celebrating every achievement of the child, you can give your child the best chance for success on their terms. For any further concerns or inquiries, feel free to reach out to us- click here.
References
Durand, V. M. (2014). Autism spectrum disorder: A clinical guide for general practitioners. American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/14283-000
Masi, A., DeMayo, M. M., Glozier, N., & Guastella, A. J. (2017). An overview of autism spectrum disorder, heterogeneity and treatment options. Neuroscience Bulletin, 33(2), 183–193. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12264-017-0100-y
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